


angels

by ranoonoo



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, a lil sad, jk a lot sad, song fic for my loves, tw mentions of cutting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5269406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranoonoo/pseuds/ranoonoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>and the end comes too soon;<br/>like dreaming of angels</p>
            </blockquote>





	angels

**Author's Note:**

> songfic inspired by: the xx - angels.

  She shouldn't have come to this stupid party.

> _Light reflects from your shadow_
> 
> _It is more than I thought could exist_

  She spots him almost immediately, and hates herself for it. If her friends really wanted her at a party, they wouldn't invite him.

> _You move through the room_
> 
> _Like breathing was easy_

  It was selfish, she knew, asking her friends to not hang out with him. She didn't have the right.

  She'd still rather not see him as much as she does, though. His radiance drowns her, **_he is suffocating_**.

> _If someone believed me_
> 
> _They would be_
> 
> _As in love with you as I am_

  Not to worry; by the looks that he and the bluenette from across the room share, she had a believer after all.

  She smiled. It's been a month, why wouldn't he move on? Why shouldn't Lucy?

> _And everyday_
> 
> _I'm learning about you_

  She wondered if Blue knew that Gray hated spicy food? Or that his favourite scent was candy canes and seder wood? How about his favourite food being vanilla ice cream?

  She's noticed that he smirks when he means 'I like you', too. Maybe that's why she can't move on. She keeps learning too much.

> _And the end comes too soon_
> 
> _Like dreaming of angels_

  He's stopping his conversation with Loke, she observes. He's mumbling something to his orange-haired best friend while keeping eye contact with Blue.

  Lucy stops breathing. She squeezes her solo cup harder.

> _And leaving without them_
> 
> _And leaving without them_

  She wanted to leave, to run away, buy a plane ticket, and never look back. But she couldn't leave her angel; her salvation. Even if he has no qualms about leaving her.

> _Being_
> 
> _As in love with you as I am_

  She goes to laugh as Blue looks about ready to fall over once Gray stops in front of her, but remembers that she needs air to laugh.

  Too bad her air supply has decided to support someone else.

> _And with words unspoken_
> 
> _A silent devotion_
> 
> _I know you know what I mean_
> 
> _And the end is unknown_

  Even if she wasn't good enough for him, she hoped Blue was. And if she wasn't, then Lucy would vow to be the stepping stones he uses to find someone better.

  She remembers to breathe this time, and drops her cup.

> _But I think I'm ready_
> 
> _As long as you're with me_

  Her friends tell her continuously that she couldn't keep doing this to herself. _"Doing what?"_ She'd always ask, just to get another disapproving look.

  Then she'd make an excuse to leave; _"I forgot! I have homework due for advanced lit,"_ and leave to go sob into her picture of them together, hugging, happy.

  Lucy ignores that self-inflicted scratches over her face in the picture.

> _Being_
> 
> _As in love with you as I am_

  Blue finally takes Gray's hand, and Lucy can see the content dancing on his features; has studied him long enough to tell when he is satisfied.

  She's learned the look by catching him leaving from other girls' apartments. He didn't know she knew then.

  He knows now, though.

> _Being_
> 
> _As in love with you as I am_

  _Beautiful,_ Lucy thinks, as the couple make for the exit.

  Her cheeks turn damp, she feels, but Lucy doesn't care.

> _Being_
> 
> _As in love with you as I am_

  He looks happy. And if he has happy, Lucy is breathing. Not truly alive, but breathing.

  Lucy wants to be near the happiness, and away from the pitiful glances her friends give her once her shirt sleeve rolls too high up or his presence is near.

  She wants to, but knows that she isn't allowed.

> _Being_
> 
> _As in love, love, love_

  _Love is for those who are worthy,_ Lucy ponders, as her light and his blue partner finally leave the crowded house.

  If love is for those who are worthy, then Lucy might never experience it.


End file.
